If you give me an inch, I will try to take a mile…especially when food is concerned. Literally, if you say here Kelly have a bite! And I say no way Jose! And you say, come on just try it. So I do. And then you look away for one second and when you turn back your entire birthday cake is gone. And it’s your birthday, not mine.
For the last two weeks I have BUSTED MY ASS in the gym, every single day. And I nailed my diet day in and day out 110% and I felt so amazing and accomplished, and in just two weeks saw some amazing changes. My commitment to myself was to make it completely compliant and give it my all until July 4th because I had some amazing plans I was looking forward to and they almost completely revolved around food. Ok, they did completely revolved around food. And alcohol. So I went out to Ft. Worth with my girlfriend, and we romped around Willie’s Picnic and the Ft. Worth stockyards. Listened to some amazing country music, and had some amazing food all day long. Then got home and continued the food fest (at least I did)….I went to bed that night whole heartedly meaning to get right back on track the next day!
Sunday morning started out great, as usual. Had a great leg day, boring day at work, and I don’t really know why but I just started stuffing my face that evening. I wasn’t really hungry, I just wanted to put food in my mouth. That’s ok, I am going to get back on track tomorrow! Monday morning started out great, had a great arm day, boring day at work, and then I ate 3 ottis spunkmeyer cookies, and stuffed my face the rest of the night. Same thing freaking Tuesday!! Except Tuesday night was the WORST, I ate almost everything in my house and I have no idea why! Today (Wednesday) I was completely on track…things going good. After 5 long days of uncontrolled nightly binges.
Now most of the stuff in my house is not super bad, fairly healthy stuff. I know it could have been A LOT worse, as I think the worst thing I got my sticky hands on was my massive jar of peanut butter…but it is more like the feeling of defeat. Like the urge was greater than me, something I could not control, and it beat me. DANGIT!
Here are some things to keep in mind when recovering from a binge:
1. Fall down a million times get up 1 million and 1. It takes time and practice to not let food control you. For you to be able to stop yourself, step back, realize what is going on and make a decision in that moment. There is no wrong or right decision. If you want that food, and you are ok with what comes after that binge then by all means ENJOY it!! If it has been 6 months since you have had a break and let your self enjoy some food that you love…who cares!! If you work your but off then you should treat yourself. It did not take a few days of bad food to get where you were when you started this journey. It will take A LOT more than that to get back to square one.
2. I personally believe that if you are straying from your plan more and more and more and feeling it is harder to get back on track each time, that is your body telling you it needs a break. If you are finding yourself with these uncontrollable urges for more food, or carbs, or waking up in the middle of the night needing more calories, listen to your body. Take a break!! Relax, enjoy yourself for a few days. I feel like your body will tell you straight up what it needs. And when it is low on fuel it will scream it in your face. When you are fueling yourself properly hunger should be controllable. This process has helped me differentiate between actual hunger, when my body needs something, or emotional/bored hunger. Where I am not really hungry I am just stressed, or dehydrated, or tired, or upset. Because when that hits you, you just demolish everything you can find and you just don’t care and there is no end in sight. Then there is a deeper problem that you may need to address and deal with.
3. Get back on track as quickly as possible. Love yourself regardless. There is no shame in food. I am proud of the junk I can eat, of my sticky fingers, of my pizza nights, because I work my butt off, so I don’t care what other people think about it. Forget about it. Put it in the past. WHO CARES!? Are you just going to throw the towel in and give up over eating a few times off plan? Throw away all the hard work you have put in? No, so move on. In reality, if you have been in a deficit for a long time now, your body probably needs that food. You are probably helping yourself more than you are hurting yourself. Maybe you and your coach need to look into refeeds, and high carb days so they are controlled and not late night binges that aren’t planned and in the end make you feel bad about yourself when you are not doing anything wrong.
4. It is not a race…this is a lifestyle change, for the rest of your life. You are not going to be perfect forever. But put your goals first and do not forget them.
5. Go to bed. The longer you are awake, the more time you have on your hands to eat. If you do not need to be up, then don’t be. You may soon find yourself poking around the fridge for something to do with your mouth…
6. Some times when I am about to start my period I eat…SO WHAT.
7. It will only take you a few days maybe 3 to lose that bloat, that weird feeling, and drop that water weight. This is when getting all your water in will be most important to flush all that crap out of your body! 3 days is nothing, NBD!
The point is, the reason it is so hard for us to get back up is because we have attached such a negative connotation to what we have done. Because we know better, because we have goals, because we killed it up to this point, and now we have failed. WRONG. Success is getting back up, continuing, learning, becoming better, it is about progress not perfection. Success is when you CAN get back up and not let that defeat you. That is when you win. I personally do not have a deadline in my journey. This for me is about learning, its about loving the process, its about creating the body I want in a non stressful enjoyable way and time frame. If I want to speed up the process I will be a bit stricter on myself, but I don’t want the negative feelings that may come with that if I fall off track. I believe that the longer it takes me to reach my goal, the harder I have to work, the more likely I am to stick to it afterwards because there is no way in hell I would just let myself go back to where I started after everything that I have put in. But, these things happen. We are human. And they will happen again because I just really love food. But it is about balance, and I know how to put in the hard work. I need to revisit my goals and refocus that is all.
So far Wednesday and Thursday have been completely on track, and I am telling myself that Flo is about to show up…any day now! Plus I will probably take a week off next week to recharge 🙂