Category Archives: Thoughts

Want to lose fat? Want to lean out? Want to do anything worth anything? Why aren’t you lifting?

Photo Jan 17, 7 40 50 PM

I don’t know about you people, but these are the girls I work hard to look like. Obviously, not everyone will share my goals.

I realize this post may rub some people the wrong way. These are my opinions. I am not suggesting what you are doing is not working for you, or that you should completely throw out whatever fat loss method you enjoy. I am simply saying don’t be afraid 🙂

I talk to person after person after person about this topic. They want to get in shape, they want to lose weight, they want to “tone” up. Well what are you doing to accomplish this I ask?…Eating less, and doing as much cardio as possible, is usually their response… If this is you please put your right hand in front of your face, look long and hard at it.  Now smack yourself right between the eyes!

So you don’t want to “bulk” up or look like a man?? Ok, so just don’t eat 5,000 calories a day or EVER dabble in steroids…Not doing either of those? GREAT! Problem solved.

Want to look hot as f*uck, and irresistible in a bikini?

Step1: Go find something heavy

Step 2: Pick it up, and put it down

Now we all know, “Abs are made in the kitchen.”  No one is going to get where they want to be, eating like crap.  In my opinion diet is the most important part in this whole equation, and exercise is just a tool to speed up the process. You can grow some pretty kick ass ab muscles, but you are not going to see them when they are covered in a layer of fat.

Also, if running and cardio is your thing, your “drug,” what you love to do by all means do what you enjoy!  But in my opinion it is not the most effective way to go about losing fat and toning up. Cardio burns plenty of calories, but it also eats up your muscle mass. Which is why every hard core long distance runner I know is a toothpick. This is where the term “skinny fat” comes into play…Looking good, and toned in your clothes might be nice during the day light hours, but what happens when those clothes come off!? I do not know about you but I do not want to look like Miley Cyrus’s saggy ass at the MTV awards…we all saw that, we all threw up a little.  I also do not want to spend 7 nights a week on the treadmill just to loose 5 pounds and then hit a wall…because where do you go from there? 10 nights a week?

Muscle burns fat. The more muscle you have the more fat you can burn just sitting around doing nothing. Weight training increases your muscle mass, and speeds up your metabolism, which means you burn MORE calories when your body is at rest. You do not want to do so much cardio that you eat up all your muscle mass now do you?? That is your most important tool in your tool box! Don’t you know cardio kills gainzzzz.

Now, sure the scale may increase with weight training. That is normal as we all know muscle weights more than fat. But 1 pound of fat is about the same size as 5 million pounds of muscle. Here is a great example.

The body on the left is 112 lbs. The same body on the right is 121 lbs. But which one is smaller? Which one looks leaner?

The body on the left is 112 lbs. The same body on the right is 121 lbs. But which one is smaller? Which one looks leaner?

Another great example I will throw out there. My own personal measurements. Day 1:

Chest 34″

Waist 26″

Hips 37″

Biceps 11″

Quads 22.25″

Fast forward 3 months:

Chest 32″

Waist 24″

Hips 35″

Biceps 10.5

Quads 20.5″

We have all seen my biceps selfies on IG, because I just cannot resist…yet they are 1/2 an inch smaller…We have all seen the muscle growth my quads have taken. I went from squatting 120lbs tops, to maxing out at 215lbs.  Yet they are almost 2 inches smaller…hmmm. I have some chest muscle, but my chest is 2 inches smaller. And my waist! I can see ab muscles for the first time in my life! I am now into my 6th month sustaining these measurements with weight training, and only predict to get smaller.

More examples:

The girl on the left was eating 1200 calories per day, same girl on the right over 2000 calories!!!!!

The girl on the left was eating 1200 calories per day, same girl on the right over 2000 calories!!!!! Eating less will kill your metabolism. When you lift, you eat because you body is burning so much at a resting rate you have to keep up 🙂

Photo May 06, 5 45 20 PM

Same weight, yet on the left she is a size 5, on the right a size 0!! Built some muscle 🙂

I also see those girls in the gym, throwing around those cute little pink weights for 1,000 reps scared to pick anything up over 5lbs. They think they are geniuses! They have found the magic answer. They have had a scientific breakthrough!!! Omgosh…You can’t simply shape your muscles into looking the way you want them.  You grow them.  You can’t say, oh I do high rep low weight to make sure I have lean, long muscles…Sorry. Your muscles will grow one way, that is bigger, and you can’t control them, that is genetics. Just like you cannot spot choose where you lose fat, you cannot choose the shape of how your muscles grow.

Muscles grow in response to exercise and they aren’t going to grow unless you exercise to the point of destruction, and then they repair themselves.  You know you’ve gotten the job done when you leave the gym with a nice big pump! When your muscles are red and feel like they are about to explode off of your body, and you can barely fit into any of your clothes. It scares the shit out of you if you aren’t expecting it! Do you have to work out that hard every night? No. Because when your diet is on point, your body is a calorie killing machine, and a few short work outs a week is all it should take! Now what pretty pink fuzzy weights will ever do that!?

To Summarize:

1. Lifting weights does not make you look like a man. If your diet is on point and you are not eating everything in sight they can make you tiny 🙂 Even if they just supplement what you are already doing.

2. Large amounts of cardio, for most people, does not a banging body make. As long as you are doing the right kind of cardio, one short session a week should be plenty.

3. Less is more, if you are spending the majority of your life in a gym our bodies adapt very quickly.  Where do you go from there when you hit a wall? Quality NOT quantity. Don’t be afraid to push yourself and get out of your comfort zone. That is when great things happen.

4. Food is good! Pants are unnecessary. The goal is to eat as much as possible and be able to walk around naked with confidence!



6 Months Progress

Photo Mar 31, 7 53 39 PM

Well…I wish I had more progress to report this month.  I don’t know why I have held so much importance on this 6 month benchmark for myself. Just another example of having too high of an expectation and then being let down.  I really don’t see any difference in my 5 month pictures and my 6 month pictures. Other than I need another tan…I might even see a bit of gaining, or maybe that is in my head, or just from not getting enough water intake yesterday :/

I guess I was thinking I would be in stage shape by now!! Dumbo.

Photo Apr 26, 4 48 07 PM

5 months vs 6 months THAT BELLY IS THE DEVIL!!!

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5 months vs 6 months


But, then I remember where I started….


Photo Apr 27, 11 32 57 AM

Day 1 vs 6 months

Photo Apr 26, 4 31 34 PM

Day 1 vs 6 months


I started out with a 30 day promise. I thought it would be nice to be looking good for my birthday/New Years. That came and went and I kept going. It was just so easy, and so fun. The time was going to pass anyway, why not do something productive with it? By month 3 I knew I was addicted and said I have to give this at least 6 months.  I don’t know why but somewhere along the way I got it in my head that 6 months is the magic number.  By then I will have accomplished what I wanted.  All these other girls did right? All these girls on Facebook, and Instagram. All the girls I have been following for inspiration, advice, motivation, knowledge about this process.  They can cut down to there ideal physique in 12 weeks! Why can’t I do that?? Or did I? Why is what I have not what I want? Well those girls have been at this game for years. They have been through this process dozens of times. This is my first go around. I am still learning. My body is still changing. It is still recovering from the hell I have put it through chasing that skinny dream my whole life.


Photo Apr 27, 11 27 09 AM

6 months

Photo Apr 27, 11 31 50 AM

6 months

I think I have reached every goal I set for myself at the beginning of this.  I surpassed 30 days and blew it out of the water. I flew past losing 7 pounds of fat, and hit 10.  I have leaned out all the areas of my body I hated and I now flaunt every single one of them. I wear whatever I want. I am squatting over 200 lbs. I can do chin ups. I can do dips. I have abs.   Gone is my unhealthy relationship with food.  Not knowing what is good/bad for me. No more feeling bad about myself, guilty, ashamed, disappointed, or using food to reward or punish myself.  Food is my fuel, to help reach my goal. It is a tool for me to use, for anyone to use, to get healthy and happy. I started out scared to death that my trainer was making me eat too much food.  I fought tooth and nail, didn’t trust the process. Two days ago I told her I didn’t think I was eating ENOUGH!!!! WTF!!??!  This is funny because if you know me you know I am never not eating…lol. Every single thing I told my trainer I wanted in the very beginning I now have! And more. But I guess my goals have changed…

I am so happy with what I have accomplished, and where I am. I don’t recognize that person 6 months ago and cannot believe that was me. I can never go back there.  But that is no longer enough for me.  Maybe 2014 wont be my year, maybe 2015 will be.  2014 is the year I realize what I want and how to get there. My new goal is 6 more months. There I said it.



Bless your little hearts

Photo Apr 16, 6 09 50 PM

Let your goals guide your actions ❤️ not everyone will understand or support me. I have even encountered those who want to pull me off track, or make me feel inadequate for having such a strange vision for myself. When I can pay them no mind, respect them for their opinions, understand we are different, and walk away feeling even more confident in my decision, I feel even stronger 💪

I have encountered many different reactions to my recent lifestyle change.  Most of which have been very positive ranging from people asking me for advice, or just shooting me a quick email or message explaining to me how I have motivated them to change their lives as well. These things make me sosososososo very happy, as the only reason I ever post anything about anything is to show that if I can do it, so can you!! And that your wildest dreams are possible if you just take the first step!

On the other hand I have encountered some negative reactions to what I am doing. I have had to delete, or “unfriend” people due to their negative comments.  I have people come up to me in person, either people I know or complete strangers, and proceed to tell me that I need to “live a little” or “relax and have fun.” I think this, more than anything else it what bothers the THE MOST.  If you do not fully understand what I am doing or the journey I am taking, please do not try to give me advice…As if miraculously I will all of a sudden snap out of it, and realize OMG you are right!! I am so 100% miserable with what I am doing! You mean to tell me I can enjoy my life?? Do the things that I want to do? NO WAY!!! I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!!!

Photo Apr 16, 5 48 30 PM

OK genius listen here…I am doing what I want. If I didn’t want to better myself, take control of my life, build my confidence and self esteem, challenge myself physically and mentally, and prove to myself I am capable of doing things I never thought possible, then I wouldn’t be doing this…People who know me know that I am a fun loving free spirit. Maybe a bit shy, and quiet, but fun! I would never voluntarily do something long term that I disliked or didn’t enjoy doing. I wouldn’t revolve my entire life around something I wasn’t in love with or looked forward to every single day.  I wake up every morning counting down the hours until I can get back in the gym and destroy my stats from the week before. I cannot get enough of that.

Really, I think people sometimes say these things because they are trying to justify why they are not like me. Why they reached for that cupcake and I did not, “Sometimes you just have to live a little!”  This is very true!! And I have many moments like that as well! Just because I do not reach for that cupcake does not mean I am better than you, and no one should feel like they have to justify anything to me. Enjoy that cupcake!!! All of our journeys are different. I am on this path right now, at this time in my life, because I am meant to be. And God, or the universe, or whatever decided I needed it, and I did!!! You are on a path that needs that cocktail, or needs that cupcake 🙂

I am living my life. I am finally for the first time free from all anxiety from food and diet and what I put in my body. I used to have such an unhealthy relationship with food. Never knowing what was right or wrong, making myself sick with guilt over what I just ate. I am a person that succeeds with structure, and clear guidelines. I now know there is a way to enjoy anything I want and no reason to feel guilty or ashamed because I know I am still progressing towards my goal.  When I am that only person that reaches for a cupcake in a room full of fitness freaks, I do not feel the need to justify my decision, I am not ashamed. I AM HANGRY AND IM GONNA EAT MYSELF A MOTHER EFFIN CUPCAKE AND YOU CAN ALL WATCH!! AND I AM GOING TO GET CUPCAKES CRUMBS ALL OVER MYSELF AND THEN EAT THOSE TOO!! I can finally feel confident in my clothes, and know that I can wear whatever I want without needing to worry about hiding something. Except for my height…I mean some things just don’t look right on short people and there is nothing I can do to grow taller…

No one is putting a gun to my head, if I want a drink I will have one. If I want a cookie I will have one, I have never deprived myself since the day I started. When I want something I have it, it is 100% my choice. But guess what, 99.9% of the time I don’t want it. My goals guide my actions. I want to accomplish them more than I want that popcorn at the movies. Popcorn may make me happy while I am eating it, but then guilty afterwards.  Reaching my goals and seeing my progress makes me 100 times MORE HAPPY than any popcorn ever could! Why is that weird or so hard for people to understand? Why try to convince me I should eat or drink something I do not want…Just like you do not want to chop your hand off with a butter knife, ooooooor dunk your head in a can of paint, I just don’t want that….this seems to be the hardest for people to get. And I instantly get labeled as unfun, or boring. Do I do the same things socially that I used to do? No.  I still make it a point to go to dinner parties, or events I know will have food and alcohol, and I still make it a point to every once in a while get out to a few bars with my friends. But, I have enjoyed putting on my thinking cap and finding fun things to do that don’t center around consumption of anything.

My last example, and my most recent, was just last week someone I have known for a while came up to me and felt the need to tell me I should stop training my arms because I am starting to get “man arms.” Now, aside from the obvious, wow that was rude that immediately came to mind, I want to point out  that I #1 DO NOT HAVE MAN ARMS. And #2 Not all our goals are the same. What I want my body to look like is not what everyone else wants their bodies to look like. What I work my butt off to accomplish and am so God damn proud of, is not what everyone else wants to accomplish in their lives. Same as what I find attractive on other people is not attractive to others. To me, all of this is not so much what I look like, but it runs much deeper. Pushing myself, challenging myself, putting up a number in the gym that is better than the week before, changing myself inside and out, creating my body, whatever I want, bigger or smaller, knowing that I have control to create anything and I don’t have to settle or accept what I am unhappy with.

"Man" arms

“Man” arms

Now yes, absolutely, my arms look very different than they did when I started. But get this, they are much smaller, and will continue to get smaller.  In fact, I am in a fat loss phase. This is just me, how I have always looked my whole life. It has just been hiding underneath this suit of pudge, and the last 6 months I have been peeling that away layer by layer. I have always been a muscular girl. I have always been athletic, and grew up competing in gymnastics and dance. I am strong, and while I used to be embarrassed and ashamed of it, I am now proud! I cannot control where I lose fat on my body, and I am not actively trying to get bigger. I am actively trying to get smaller and I am! But I am also changing shape at the same time.

I didn’t sit there and lecture her, or explain myself and my mind set. I just said “thank you, I have worked hard for these and I am proud.” Not everyone understands my grind. All that matters to me is that I have found more happiness and satisfaction in what I am doing now, than I have ever experienced in my life. And that is enough for me. And the fact that I can accept that and not care what others think makes me happy 🙂 Go find your own grind, whatever that may be and I hope it brings you happiness.


What the hell am I doing?


Five months ago I very reluctantly started a fitness journey that most people were unaware of. It had been on my mind for quite a while, the better part of 2013, but like anyone I was scared.  Scared of failure, scared of the unknown, scared of having to push myself in a way that I never have. You could say I went kicking and screaming…with every excuse in the book. Thank the stars for my trainer, Mallory Bobo, who with every ounce of patience in the world calmly answered all my questions, and shot down every excuse I gave her.

I have learned recently that I lack confidence in myself, and my abilities.  I am scared of failure, and I think that I have learned to set the bar low in my life for anything and everything, that way when I succeed and surpass that bar I feel much more satisfaction than I normally would.  The result of all this is that I am never that person to take a huge leap of faith. I dislike change, and I am scared of anything that I know will take a huge amount of effort on my part.

Mallory, bless her heart, asked me to give her four weeks.  Just one month to trust her and do everything she asked of me and see what happened.  I feel like I can do anything for four weeks, and if I didn’t like it I would be done with it.  What did I have to lose really? I wasn’t on a time crunch, I didn’t have an event coming up I had to drop 50 pounds in 3 days for.  I simply wanted to do something that I have never been able to do before, create my dream body, no matter how long it took. If it was possible to fix every single thing that I hated about my body, I didn’t care how long it would take, I was in.

Fast forward two weeks….all hell breaks loose.  I have my first check in, my numbers haven’t budged and I was actually up an inch in my waist and biceps.  My pictures all look exactly the same to me. This is not working, and as I had always told myself, I am different. I am the exception to the rule. This is my body, this is what I will always look like, thanks mom, thanks genetics, I just need to accept it and find some way to love it. Mallory literally had to talk my off a ledge, calm me down, slap me out of it. But, I had put in so much work and effort with no result I was even more defeated then when I had started. She told me not to give up, that it would come. Well I had nothing else to do with my free time, so I just kept going, results or not.

Then it happened.  I measured myself for my second check in at four weeks and took some new pictures. I was so shocked!! I couldn’t believe what I was looking at!!  Five whole inches gone, one of which was in my quads alone.  I was so proud, I started sending my before and after pictures to every single person that knew I was doing this program.

1 Month Progress

1 Month Progress

So here I am, 5 month and ten pounds of pure fat later, writing this blog to share my experience with anyone and everyone who may be interested. Please let me know anything you would like to see here, or for me to discuss. This is a positive only zone, and we will have lots of fun!


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